a little journey (The Sixty Eighth)

eighth

Eye's seeing closed (The Sixty Seventh)

we are all of us unfinished until the day we leave this world.  We are continually reinventing little bits and pieces of our selves every time we do or even hear something, maybe reaffirming bits of ourselves or changing them a bit.  Well when you left I gotta say I felt like a big part of me was just gone, dead in a way.  And with that cam a time when I didn't know who I was or where I was going to go from there.  And when that happened Id have a dream waking or no.  sometimes the same sometimes utterly different I told you about one or two of them...But it started to work its way through me and reaffirm who I was and who I was trying to become, the man I was striving to be.  And that happens even now when I'm pretty sure of all these things.  Anytime I start feeling doubt or sadness or emptiness about that or because your gone eventually that dream comes or I close my eyes and see you and my resolve to become better is iron and my faith strengthened and I become more at piece.  Its not perfect but it helps more than you can know.  Just listen to the song and know a little bit about it.

Warmth and reason (The Sixty Sixth)

A few days ago when driving back with my inebriated relatives (yay for being the dependable generous one) Amidst the laughing and the funny things they do under the influence this song came on the radio and it made me think about you.  I don't mind when you call for no reason or because you just need to talk to me about something, or cause you just cant sleep.  I even cherish those times.  I know this song is cheesy but none the less true. And it doesnt have to do with one simple thing like the way you look, the way your voice sounds or  "the perfume that you wear" even though any one of those shoot right through me. It's because it's you, and I mean every bit of you.  and if you are reading this please forgive the vids cheese I thought it better than neon colors or poor sound quality.

Stepping stones in the grass (The Sixty Fifth)

I've made plenty of mistakes in my life, we all have.  But every time I hear this song I think of you, not anyone else nor any other shortcoming or mistake.  Just you, cause with out you it feels like my furnace ain't burnin'

take your pick of which version you listen to.first one is Springsteen the other is Kenny Chesney at the link below (sorry youtube wasn't cooperating)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXhEkj17gnM

How can we move forwards and backwards at the same time ( The Sixty Fourth)

Its funny I already know what the next song will be and it will have to do with this.  We are closer than we have been in a long time.  I hear about things in your life, we actually just talk on the phone sometimes for no particular reason.  And yet there's still this chance that I'm losing you. I know its selfish but this you are the only thing Im really at all selfish for.  Someones in trouble I give them the shirt of my back.  but with you I don't want anyone to fill the place beside you. so just with todays song listen to a bit about how this fight feels...

And if it really is you reading this, I want you to watch the real video..I think it shows you better
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvYfg43EFNU&ob=av2n

Even So ( The Sixty Third)

you call me and talk about a man who is nice, who you don't about... well that kills me.  I am here for you and I will work my hardest to make you happy though it damn near kills me.  but I don't run.  It would be easy for someone in my shoes to run into another woman's arms but I can't.  Its harder for me to turn my back on you than to turn my back on the lashes I get day in and out in the back of my mind or in the front of my heart.  I won't run from this fight. 

,Someday, I hope that you find my fight worth it.

Why get away from the country ( The Sixty Second)

Today's post could have been one of two songs, and since there are a lot of country songs on here already I thought I'd not buck the trend. So here's one.  And by the way you are the girl who does bring my whole world stop.  And if you ever wonder about the d.i.d. calls, remember that dream I told you about where my whole world really did stop.

lol this music and these lyrics...way brighter than that dream

New Post New Song, same message in a sense (The Sixty First)

To me it is real, to me it is big, larger than any obstacle that could bar your dreams.

Sixty Track update

60). She will be Loved- Maroon 5
59). I Should Be Sleeping- Emerson Drive
58). Stupid Boy- Keith Urban
57). I Miss You- Incubus
56). All For You- Keith Urban
55). Relentless- Jason Aldean
54). Meant something to me- Tyler Hilton
53). The Rescue- Tyler Ward
52). Echo- Incubus
51). Valiant- The Spill Canvas
50). Orange Sky- Alexi Murdoch
49). Powerful Stuff- Sean Hayes
48). Gravity- Josh Turner
47). No Envy, No Fear- Joshua Raidin
46). Praise you- Fatboy Slim
45). Mad World- Gary Jules
44). Bullet Proof- La Roux
43). Up Late Again- Tyler Hilton
42). Long Hot Summer- Keith Urban
41). The Truth- The Spill Canvas
40). Ain't No Woman Like You- Trace Adkins
39). Somewhere With You- Tyler Ward cover (original artist Kenny Chesney)
38). Thinking Of You- Christian Kane
37). My love Will Follow You- Dierks Bently
36). I Won't Look Back- NeedtoBreathe
35). Nicest Thing- Kate Nash
34). Just The way You Are- Billy Joel
33). Endlessly- Green River Ordinance
32). Stuck In The Waltz- Moddi
31). Insomnia- Tyler Hilton
30). Open Season On My Heart- Tim McGraw
29). Inches And Fallin- The Format
28)The Way I am- Ingrid Michaelson
27). Distant Shore- Dierks Bentley
26). A Long Trip Alone- Dierks Bentley
25). For You I Will-Teddy Geiger
24). God Made Woman- Keith Urban
23). For You- Duncan Sheik
22). Hands Down- Jake Coco Cover (Original Artist Dashboard Confessional)
21). Fire Flies- Owl City
20). You'll Ask For Me- Tyler Hilton
19). Back to December- Jake Coco Cover (original artist Taylor Swift)
18). Just A Kiss- Lady Antebellum
17). Open Your Eyes- Snow Patrol
16). I could Fall- Evan&Jaron
15). Two Is Better Than One- Michael Henry& Justin Robinett cover (original boys like girls)
14). Modern Love- Matt Nathanson
13). Something Inside- Jonathan Rhys Meyers
12). Stars In Our Eyes, and Mario Kart Love Song-  Sam Hart
11). I Didn't Know- Alex Lambert
10). One In A Million- Ne-yo
09). The Man Who Can't Be Moved- Straight No Chaser Cover and Original (The Script)
08). Lullaby- The Spill Canvas
07). Dancing In the Minfield- Andrew Peterson
06). Our Song- The Spill Canvas
05). Make You Feel My Love- Adelle
04). Elephant- Damien Rice
03). Little Lion Man- Mumford & Sons
02). Every Time I Hear Your Name- Keith Anderson
01). Kill- Jimmy Eat World

not 18 anymore ( the Sixtieth)

Im going to ask you something, probably next time I see you even.  I may always be here for you, I will catch you when you fall, support you when you choose to belong to someone else while we aren't a we, I will always make you feel beautiful and every bit as special you are.  But never label me as friend it will never be that simple.  If you have to label me label me with my name, even though the first one is common I got four names and all together its a label for everything me.  I want the label to be just that you are you and me, well Im just be and what we are to each other is something more than just friends.  Like if we were what people call boyfriend and girlfriend it would be something MORE than just dating no matter how slow we started that.  Anyways with me you will be loved.

should be's ( The Fifty Nineth)

I should be but its true I should be sleepin stead of daydreaming or just thinking about you. but it happens all the time

hindsight ( the Fifty Eighth)

I didn't make all the same mistakes that the stupid boy in the song made but I might as well have.  I pushed in a few places I shouldn't and was lax in some places I shouldn't.  Even though Im not that stupid boy anymore  I still want to be the one you yell at your phone "stupid boy text me back" I wish I could go back, I wouldn't change a thing at the beginning but I would only change when we were apart, that year I was gone, that year that was harder than any before it.  But I won't and this stupid boy who isn't as stupid as he once was wants the silly girl that you have grown into.  You are a woman of quality and I want to see you become more each day just by being yourself.  I miss you.

Surface Area (The Fifty Seventh)

The mind can play on the senses.  Sometimes you see what you want most right next to you even though its not really there, like a dream in the waking world so real you can breath in the aroma and feel it on your skin.  Even though your not here I still wake up sometimes with eye's half closed and can almost see you across from me, every line on your face gone in the peace of sleep and a smile twitching the corners of your mouth from some pleasant dream.  You've never had your nightmares with me.  I wake up and wish you were there hard enough that it aches.  Then I blink and you're gone, I blink and I can't smell you on the pillow next to be, I blink again and I ache only half as much, I blink again and its just dulled sense of something missing in the middle of my chest, I blink one more time and I roll out of bed and start my day

It just IS ( The Fifty Sixth)

Ive been steering clear of this artist because I don't just want to use him because he's one of your favorites.  But when its something so true I just have to say it, I just have to use Keith to tell you. There's a simple fact and its that the man I am and the man I am becoming well... Just listen and know that this is how it is for me and that its not really changing just not as urgent as it once was, much more patient much more kind, much more understanding....But it is all for you if you would just choose it.

A Runners try (The Fifty Fifth)

replace your love with the part of me that still loves you and what could be and yeah it is

That look (really the Fifty Fourth)

I love the look on your face after I've kissed you...

Aid in You ding it for yourself (The Fifty Fifth)

You rescue me from myself when you just are being you with me.  You give me the strength to do anything, let me in and I'll lend you that strength right back ten fold if not more.

Fear of second chances (THe Fifty Fourth)

Thanks Jordan

pebble in the vault ( the Fifty Third)

There's this part of me locked away by my mind that wishes I could ask you what this song asks you today and you'd say yes without a hesitation.  But this part also knows that now is not the time no matter how much it wants to.  It knows that we could but its tempered by the rest of me that knows that its just one potential no matter how true it feels.  All this means that its what I see in you, the white dress the tux, the first house, all those things we both want so much but only one of us knows someone who they could have it with.  I hope that theres some part that knows that in you no matter how deaf you are to it and how little you look at it to see it desperately signing...maybe its signing in Russian sign language and you just don't grasp it yet anyways...you'd be interested to know how many "jealous zombies" there are of you even if they don't know your name.

The color Orange (The fifty second)

I have been less wordy more and more frequently, not because there is less to say but because I think you, the one I am really writing this for, would prefer it that way.  In that spirit

rock fire (The fifty first)

just listen I might explain my title choice later

They ask and I can't answer ( The Fiftieth)

People keep asking me  whats new are there any new woman in your life.  And do you know what goes through my head, not a single thing but you.  Not just a picture of you but everything thats ever happened between us and everything that might have.  I want to just tell someone anyone the whole of it.  I want to say how ever since you left and I let you I have felt like there's a piece of me, not just a piece of my life, of ME, missing. 

So when they ask me if there's any new women in my life whats new with me, and all this things rush through my mind I just shrug and say "not much just doing my thing what about you?

I miss...this( The Forty Ninth)

I just wanna say I this like that Desert flower,  It misses the rain... And really I miss this, just this.

This song is another facet of what Im thinking about this...I just feel at peace when you and I just are our selves together.  I just...I miss that as well...

Your Mother says ( the Forty Seventh)

You know what is said what you deserve; someone who opens doors, who takes you as a priority, who puts you up on the pedestal you deserve (not the one undeserved and only for someone perfect) someone who loves your imperfections, someone who is sweet, kind, romantic, the kind of person who would drive all the way from Portland to Albany just to drop off your favorite Starbucks drink for summer just the way you like it (two extra pumps of  syrup) just because you had been having a bad week.  You know someone exactly like that, just you have a rule against second chances.  Well I want you to break that rule like you made me break the only promise I will break with you.  and you'll get what you deserve and more.  not in a flood, but for as long as I can fight for it, and I have the patience to wear down mountains where you are concerned.

Run in a circle to get farther (The Forty Sixth)

I find it kinda funny the dreams in which I am dying with you are the best I ever had (you me and we're at least 93)
I find it kinda of hard to tell you I find it hard to take where things are.  Every thing about you and everything about me.
we're waiting for the day we feel good? the day when we have some of the simple things we want. we could have that together all those things that have been happening around us can grow from one simple decision 

I run in these circles you run in many the same and the lesson is we can run them together and change their course...Its just a mad world...

Conditioning (the Forty Fifth)

I have grown a lot stronger in our time apart mentally and physically apart... so maybe if we get another go...

cause Im pretty much bulletproof from everyone but you

Kats 3: ( the Forty fourth)

still awake...havent slept. so by my counts its still on time. explanationsa for the past two coming late...past out time...now?

Placing smiles ( the Forty third)

Title semi unrelated.

Concert? damn (the forty second

there are missed opportunities and misconceptions...I hope you are not one of them...

a day of ain'ts (The Forty First)

today I had the unfortunate task f getting paint primer out of my hair.  While I was doing it song after song cam on from an ipod on shuffle with ain't in the title.  I felt the world had presented me with a theme. So first I'm going to lay down a few things that are in the ain't category and then give you a video and song...that was hard to track down.
I ain't like an asshole to string you along.  You know what I have wanted for a long time.  I ain't after just something for the moment, but I don't want to jump ahead I want to take it slow and make every moment with you last and enjoy you just being around.  I ain't like those who have hurt you since I left, or those who hurt you before.  I ain't as stupid as I once was....

and there aint no woman like you

best I could do without making a video it was basically either this or furry fan art

when they shut. (the Fortieth)

I am not part of that 85 percent just look back at post from the Tardis 12